| Surely you saw this coming... |
[13 May 2006|11:53pm] |
F R I E N D S _ C U T
I just felt like it was time for one (the last time I did this was like a year and a half ago). Things change, people go their own ways and I just want to know who's still interested. Let me know if you are, one way or another, and you'll be back on the friends list in no time. And if you could care less about this, then I wish you a nice life (seriously). :)
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| This weather has me wanting love more tangible, something I can hold because it's getting cold. |
[21 Nov 2004|08:41pm] |
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mood |
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 okay |
] |
FRIENDS CUT
After lots of pondering I finally decided to it. WHY? Well, mainly because I realised my friends list is full of people I barely know, plus my entries are getting a bit more personal and I want to know who's actually reading my journal.
That's why I've deleted EVERYONE, but if you want to be added back, just let me know and I will gladly add you. I just want to know who's interested, that's all.
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| Sing me something soft, sad & delicate, or loud and out of key, sing me anything. |
[16 Jul 2004|06:15pm] |
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mood |
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 satisfied |
] |
I'm in a pretty good mood today (or at least I should be) so I decided to finally post the pics I've been promising for ages. The first is random, next two are from the prom and the rest are from the seniors parade day. I have loads of better ones though, but they'd have to be scanned first and I can't be bothered about that so I guess these will have to do, hehe. Now, without further ado...
( come untie the knot )
On a side note, I also picked up my exam results yesterday and they were really good, way better than I EVER imagined. I got an A in Psychology and Maths (mwahaha), a B in Slovenian and History and, most importantly, an A+ in English, yay. My average was slightly above 90% which is like whoa for me so for once in my life I can actually say that I'm proud of myself. I have acchieved my goal. I did well on my finals and I think getting into the Uni I want shouldn't be a problem anymore. Hmm, I'm starting to realise that it really is ALL over now. Shit, I'm gonna miss everyone & everything so much. :( "It's all downhill from here?"
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| True love lives on lollypops and crisps. |
[29 Jun 2004|10:51am] |
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mood |
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 excited |
] |
I finally finished my exams a week ago which means it's time for summer holidays now, whoop whoop. I don't miss revision at all, slacking is way more fun. Oh & I'm reading a great book - The Madolescents by Chrissie Glazebrook. I admit it's a little worrying at times lol, but it's still hilarious & I'm enjoying it lots.
( slowdance on the inside )
WISHLIST FOR THE SUMMER (in no particular order)
* happiness
* money
* digital camera
* fun
* someone special
* plane ticket for England
* car
* iPod
* books
_______Blue Spark Sisters by Chrissie Glazebrook
_______The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
_______Lyra's Oxford by Philip Pullman
_______White Oleander by Janet Finch
_______1984 by George Orwell
_______The Sorceress by Celia Rees
_______Mysterious Boarder by Holly E. Henderson
_______Bookends by Jane Green
_______Summer Sisters by Judy Blume
_______Jemina J by Jane Green
_______To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
* etc etc etc (being modest is cool)
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| Stop sleeping on my roof, bitch. |
[27 Apr 2004|12:07am] |
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mood |
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 worried |
] |
Guess who's having a week OFF, wee! *does the happy dance* I've been having some comp problems this weekend though and now most of my stuff is gone, including Photoshop & Kazaa, boo. Which means I can't post prom pics yet cos I need to resize & edit them, buuut I need my Photoshop back first, eek. They shall be here soon enough though, promise.
So appreciate the good times
( But don't take the worst for granted )
Cos you only get so many second chances
Before I hit the sack, I just want to spit out that I utterly heart Brand New. Seriously, I adore each & every song they've ever made and they are without a doubt one of my favourite bands ever. Two words: brilliant lyrics. I just love them so much it hurts & I would do anything in the world to see them live. But seeing I live in the 'wrong part' of the world it'll prolly never happen, boohoo. Ah well, they still ROCK my socks off x 1000. ♥
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| If you give up on me now, I'll be gutted like I've never been before. |
[21 Apr 2004|05:27pm] |
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mood |
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 mischievous |
] |
After more than 3 months, I decided to make this journal private - mainly because of nosey people lurking around, plus having a public journal made me feel kinda uncomfortable anyway, heh. So yeah, if you want to read the rest as well, just let me know & you'll be added. That goes for new people only, the lovely people that are already on my friends list obviously don't need to comment again. Nah, I'm not trying to be a paranoid bitch & I don't bite either, I just want to know who's reading my stuff, wahey.
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| So much for my happy ending. |
[01 Apr 2004|09:07pm] |
"It took him about five hours to get ready. While he was doing it, I went to my window and opened it and packed a snowball with my bare hands. The snow was very good for packing. I didn't throw it at anything, though. I started to throw it. At a car that was parked across the street. But I changed my mind. The car looked so nice and white. Then I started to throw it at a hydrant, but that looked too nice and white, too. Finally I didn't throw it at anything. All I did was close the window and walk around the room with a snowball, packing it harder. A little while later, I still had it with me when I and Brossard and Ackley got on the bus. The bus driver opened the doors and made me throw it out. I told him I wasn't going to chuck it at anybody, but he wouldn't believe me. People never believe you."
( words of wisdom )
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| Yeah but I wish you were my shadow. |
[26 Mar 2004|10:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 lazy |
] |
I think it's safe to say I'm not much of a LJ person, huh? Dammit. Don't get me wrong, I really love LJ as such, but I'm obviously rubbish at updates, eek. I'm kinda thinking of making this Friends Only someday, plus I need a new layout, hehe.
It's been an okay week I guess, nothing scandalous happened... Oh yeah, except the fact I might be going to the PIXIES gig in less than 3 months, weee! (Which is a rather big deal seeing we get hardly any gigs down here, meh.) Still need to buy the tickets, we'll see how it all turns out, fingers crossed.
( a quick update, hehe )
Recommend to me...
1. a song
2. a book
3. a musical artist
4. a snack
5. a website
6. a LJ user not on my friend's list
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| Can we go back to those days? |
[11 Jan 2004|02:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
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hopeful |
] |
Pennywise - Yesterdays
Up from the ashes and over the hill
We knew more then than we ever will
Back when the days passed by so slow
And now we'll never know
That sense that tomorrow was far away
And our dreams they will never fade
We never thought the good times could end
Can we go back to those days
When everything was simple then?
And nothing could ever change
Can we go back to those days?
We didn't have a care at all
I wish I could remain
Back in yesterdays
Pictures of another place and time
They seem like scenes from a diffrent life
We didn't notice as the days went past
We knew it couldn't last
But looking back I wouldn't change a thing
The memories shared they'll always stay with me
We never thought the good times would end
Can we go back to those days
When everything was simple then?
And nothing could ever change
Can we go back to those days?
We didn't have a care at all
I wish I could remain
Back in yesterdays
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| I hang like a star, fucking glow in the dark. |
[11 Jan 2004|02:20am] |
| [ |
mood |
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worried |
] |
Bright Eyes - Something Vague
Now and again it seems worse than it is
But mostly the view is accurate
You see your breath in the air
As you climb up the stairs
To that coffin you call your apartment
And you sink in your chair
Brush the snow from your hair
And drink the cold away
You're not really sure
What you're doing this for
But you need something to fill up the days
A few more hours
There is a dream in my brain
That just won't go away
It's been stuck there since it came
A few nights ago
I'm standing on a bridge
In the town where I lived
As a kid with my mom and my brothers
And then the bridge disappears
And I'm standing on air
With nothing holding me
And I hang like a star
Fucking glow in the dark
For all those starving eyes to see
Like the ones we've wished on
But now I'm confused
Is this death really you?
Do these dreams have any meaning?
No, no, I think it is more like a ghost
That has been following us both
Something vague that we're not seeing
Something more like a feeling
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| Inconsistencies of my moods. |
[11 Jan 2004|02:19am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 irritated |
] |
Taking Back Sunday - Ghost Man On Third
Jynx me something crazy
Thinking if it's three
Then I'm as smooth as the skin
Rolls across the small of your back
It's too bad it's not my style
If you need me
I'm out and on the parkway
Patient and waiting for headlights
Dressed in a fashion that's fitting to the
Inconsistencies of my moods
It's times like these where silence means everything
And no one is to know about this
It's times like these, where silence means everything
And no one is to know about this
It's a campaign of distraction
And revisionist history, oh
It's a shame I don't think that they'll notice
(It's a shame, I don't think that they'll notice)
It's a shame I doubt they even care
(It's a shame I doubt they even care)
No one is to know about this
It's a shame I don't think that they'll notice
(It's a shame, I don't think that they'll notice)
It's a shame I doubt they even care
(It's a shame I doubt they even care)
Don't let me down
But whatever I have gettin myself into
Maybe has been slicing inches from my waist
It's my fist vs the bottle
(And thank god you weren't there...)
And that's how bad could this hurt
Or against I won't feel a thing
(And thank god you weren't there...)
I tell you all about it
It's just not working out
(To watch me hit the bottle)
Not working out
It's a campaign of distraction
And revisionist history, oh
It's a shame I don't think that they'll notice
(It's a shame, I don't think that they'll notice)
It's a shame I doubt they even care
(It's a shame I doubt they even care)
No one is to know about this
It's a shame I don't think that they'll notice
(It's a shame, I don't think that they'll notice)
It's a shame I doubt they even care
(It's a shame I doubt they even care)
Don't let me down
This is why we were taught so much better than this
This is why we were taught so much better than this
This is what living like this does
This is what living like this does
This is what living like this does
This is what living like this does
This is what living like this does
This is what living like this does
This is what living like this does
This is what living like this does
This is what living like this does
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| First teach me to walk and then I'll learn to dance for you. |
[11 Jan 2004|02:05am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 nervous |
] |
Lifehouse - Fool
Seems my own arrogance has knocked me off my feet again
When you know I'm crawling to you as fast as I can
First teach me to walk
And then I'll learn to dance for you like an
Honest clumsy clown
Tripping along the way
Cause I am reaching for you
But my arms aren't long enough
And I am running to you
If I could go a little faster
And I am crying to you
But I can't hear my own voice
And I am waiting for you
And trying not to fall asleep now
Cause I'm clumsily dancing away this fear
I'm stumbling closer to you and I am
Tumbling over my pride
I will be a fool for you
What are you thinking as you look down on me are you
Frustrated with my inconsistency
Or intrigued that I can find the will to get back up or
Maybe all of this is simply amusing
Cause I'm reaching for you
But my arms aren't long enough
And I'm running to you
If I could go a little faster
And I'm crying to you
But I can't hear my own voice
I am waiting for you
And trying not to fall asleep now
Cause I'm clumsily dancing away this fear
I'm stumbling closer to you and I am
Tumbling over my pride
I will be a fool for you
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| I decorated it with lots of stars. |
[11 Jan 2004|02:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
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hopeful |
] |
Ataris - A Song for the Mix Tape
Today I made you a mix tape
And I decorated it with lots of stars
It had all my favorite songs
There was jawbreaker and armchair martain
Built to spill and the descendents
Hell I even put one of ours on it
Falling for you was the easy thing to do
If only somehow I could make you hang around
Today I made you a mix tape
To say exactly how I feel inside
And make you feel it to
These are the songs that make me smile
And cry myself to sleep at night
When I'm lying without you
I love you more than I ever loved anyone before
Hey silly girl I'm begging you
All of these songs they remind me of you
I hope that you like this song
Did you ever listen to the words and melody
Do you fell the pain inside?
They way that it hurts me?
When your in your room at night
I hope you'll be singing along
And make me a tape of your favorite songs
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| The clock ticks life away. |
[11 Jan 2004|01:58am] |
| [ |
mood |
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apathetic |
] |
Linkin Park - In the End
It starts with one
One thing, I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind
i designed this rhyme to explain in due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
I wasted it all
just to watch you go
I kept everythin inside
And even though I tried
It all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a
memory of a time when
I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter
One thing, I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how (I tried so hard)
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so [far]
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me in the end
I kept everything inside
And even though I tried
It all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a
memory of a time when I
Tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn’t even matter
I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn’t even matter
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| Things get so crazy. |
[11 Jan 2004|01:55am] |
| [ |
mood |
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angry |
] |
Matchbox 20 - Push
She said I don't know if I've ever been good enough
I'm a little bit rusty and I think my head is caving in
And I don't know if I've ever been really loved
By a hand that's touched me, well I feel like something's
Gonna give
And I'm a little bit angry, well
This ain't over, no not here, not while I still need you
Around
You don't owe me, we might change
Yeah we just might feel good
I wanna push you around, I will, I will
I wanna push you down, I will, I will
I wanna take you for granted, I wanna take you for granted
I will
She said I don't know why you ever would lie to me
Like I'm a little untrusting when I think that the truth is
Gonna hurt ya
And I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me
You couldn't stand to be near me
When my face don't seem to want to shine
Cuz it's a little bit dirty well
Don't just stand there, say nice things to me
I've been cheated I've been wronged, and you
You don't know me, I can't change
I won't do anything at all
I wanna push you around, I will, I will
I wanna push you down, I will, I will
I wanna take you for granted, I wanna take you for granted
I will
Oh but don't bowl me over
Just wait a minute well it kinda fell apart, things get so
Crazy, crazy
Don't rush this baby, don't rush this baby
I wanna push you around, I will, I will
I wanna push you down, I will, I will
I wanna take you for granted, I wanna take you for granted
I will
<3
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imnotyourstaaar's journal
cynical
silly